i am awesome at holiday mondays. pictorial evidence included

Yesterday was a holiday. Victoria Day, to be precise. This means nothing except that all the kids were home from school while I was trying to do a major assignment. I set the whole day aside to do this project because I was pretty sure I was going to need it. I gave the children free reign on the computer and the X-Box.

Have at 'er, zombie children. I'll see you on the other side.

Let me tell you about this class. It's called Professional and Technical Communication, or something like that. Anyway, it is horrifically boring and so not my thing. I found the first two three hour classes coma inducing. Class one was lecture. Class two was exam (previously mentioned on this here blog) and class three, which was to be today, was first major assignment. A visual critique.

This is what brings me here today. So, I go to where the assignment is posted to see what I need to do for it. The prof is nothing if not extremely detail oriented. She has so much detail written in what she wants to see it takes hours just to decipher her lawyer/English major/university professor lingo. I decide to print off the assignment so I can read and re- read it in my thinking chair.







See how wrinkly that chair is getting? I think a lot.

So back to this deliciously exciting story...I print off the assignment. It is 5 pages long.



FIVE PAGES LONG.

Now, if you'll be so kind as to read what it says beside length of the assignment.



Yep. 750 words. Single spaced. Which is a page and a half. Or maybe two pages, if you have all the rigmarole at the top of page one.

So let's recap. To explain a 1.5-2 page assignment it took the prof 5 pages, SINGLE spaced, to do that.

This is so unbelievably asinine to me that I was forced to go and check my degree requirements to see if, in fact, I do have to take this course. I thought I did, but it's always wise, at my age, to check and double check stuff because I tend to recreate things in my mind that are simply not true. And low and behold, this class is one of many I can choose from.

So KAPOWIE!!! Off to the online student centre I go to drop this dumb class that is making me so unhappy. I list my text book on kijiji and within minutes it's sold. And all of a sudden I am as free as a bird for the rest of the day. The rest of the week actually.

I ask the children what they would like to do and they looked at me with their zombie eyes and said, "Uhhhhh, play on the computer, obviously. YOU SAID WE COULD PLAY ALL DAY!!"

Then I decided I would like to walk around the mall but the man wanted to come so we waited for him. He got home, showered and we headed off to the mall. Half way there the man announced he did not have his wallet.

"Well, when you're around I don't even bring mine," replied I.

So we did the giant, time sucking loopdy loop to get home and retrieve finances to pay for dinner. We arrived at the mall at 5:41 and were gathering food in the food fair when we were informed the mall was closing in 15 minutes because of this holiday I have already mentioned.

Well, of course it is. Huh? Am I new here? How did I not realize that? This getting old and not bright stuff is exhausting.

And then I had terrible guilt that my children did not see the light of day on Victoria Day so I went to bed to end it as promptly as I could.

Come back tomorrow and I will tell you a story that is actually a good story.

points of slight exaggeration

Ok. Wow. What a week. Spring semester started Tuesday and I am already drowning in homework. There is so much reading and thankfully some of it is half way entertaining. The rest of it?

Might just kill me with boredom!

So my sister had a baby last night in about 32 seconds. Which is how I like it because I watch her kids while she's doing it and I don't like to wait.

As we well know.

So usually I show up at her house and someone is there watching the kids because I am not near fast enough. Shortly after I arrive and assess the state of the other kids I get a text from her husband. And by shortly after I mean like 15 minutes...give or take.

One thing about my sister, when she wants something done, it gets done.

Mallory Anne is as sweet as you could imagine. I do declare that she represents the very last time I will be made an auntie. I am at 26 now and I do believe the child bearing is done. Although, I wouldn't put it past my one brother to get some banana idea in his head...

Speaking of university professors...I might have some advice for them. It involves common sense but I am skeptical professors have much of that. It seems to me that the professor-type has a tendency to give exams worth only 10% of your final grade and then proceed to inform you that the info covered on the exam will take you approximately one million hours to study.

So here's my advice: either don't bother with a test worth 10%. Or, make the test worth more than a measly 10%.

Duh.

Well, I am off. I have a psychology class tomorrow for almost 6 hours, (yes, I know it's a Saturday) and the prof has assigned 80 million pages to read. I also have an assignment due for a class that might just be considered the most boring class offered at the university.

If you are ever wondering where I am, I am here. Hiding under text books that only cost 473 millions dollars.

rotting on a beach. a picture essay.

So, I am back from Mexico. You know what I did in Mexico? I laid on a chair and read books. And when I got hot I got up and ran into the ocean or when I was sanded out I hopped into the pool. When I got hungry I walked to the nearest buffet.

It was glorious. Maybe not the backpacking across Spain or the ruin seeking adventure many people aim for when they choose to vacation but it was exactly what I wanted and needed. I didn't lift a finger to serve anyone and instead let myself be served and I have no guilt about that.

The man was a good sport, he just followed me around and carried my stuff like the good sherpa he his. 

The sun soothed my soul. It was nice to be away from life with just my husband. 

I read four novels and only one sucked beyond words. I'll give you a hint. It was called Divergent. What a piece of crap. Anyway...

The internet was sketchy at best down there but we didn't care because we were escaping the world. Well, I didn't care until half of my pictures got sucked into oblivion from my phone. iCloud is cranky in Mexico. I'm sure they are somewhere in the inter webs but I have no idea how to find them. So I only have a few pictures to share and not my faves. Like the awesome puffer fish that got washed up on the beach as I walked by and viciously tried to take my life.

No he didn't. He actually just laid there like a gentleman while I took pictures of him. But those pictures are gone, so...

Here's what's left.

This little monkey missed me. A lot. Sweet little thing.

adios, amigos

Me, to him: Look, just humour me. I am a person with OCD tendencies and an anxiety disorder. If I want to do the laundry, fold it, put it away in the drawers and THEN take it all back out to put in suitcases then I'm going to bloody well do that.

Him, to me: You're insane.

Adios, amigos.

you probably think this song is about you...

This is what happens when your insanely vain child gets a hold of your phone. He thinks he spammed me. He did. I don't think, however, he is aware of how far I am willing to go. Scroll really fast...or you'll probably get bored.

You're welcome.